Q. I have been addicted to drugs for fifteen years now on and often struggle to stay clean for long periods....today i relapsed after 3 months and in my thinking i thought maybe its because i failed to make fajr this morning, as for the past three months i have not missed one fard, but also besides this i only stay clean for a few months and then back to my old habits.i feel so low and even am tired of starting all over again. Is there not something I can do to help myself out of this vicious cycle. In the past 3 months a completed reading the Quraan from the start to the end for the first time in my entire life,I was enjoying reading the quraan so much as I could never read arabic before,but the years of isolation brought on by the drugs made me confined to my room where i would listen to the Quraan being recited and today I can read ,no one taught me and Im sure I still make mistakes but i derived so much pleasure from reading.Now i feel so guilty to pick up the Quraan again Im even so shy I dont want to stand in front of Allah in salaah because i promised Allah i would never do drugs again and i have failed in my promise. i just can’t seem to break the cycle of a few months without drugs and then one day spoils it and i start all over again just to have the cycle repeat itself. Please advise and shukran